Reliving Love
by Luvin . U . In . Secret
Summary: Edward leaves Bella with the impression she was a family pet. When the Cullens come back, can Bella put aside her fears and let herself fall in Love again? When faced with a dilema which is stronger? First love or an unexplored relationship? 1st ff :D xxx
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the characters and original plot - Messing with them is just my obsession :P**

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I wasn't counting the hours or days that had past. All my mind seemed to acknowledge was that they were gone, that _he_ dragged them away.

Ever since my birthday, I'd been referring to my ex by _him_ or _he_ only. The memory of that night was on repeat in my head. Each time I saw the facts that the rest had been oblivious to; his bloodlust, the pure hunger in his eyes as he crouched defensively over my bleeding body, Jasper's ferocious snarl as he lunged at me.

The Cullen's held a struggling and feral Jasper back as they failed to see that it wasn't me his attack was aimed for. The murderous glare aimed at him was full of confusing emotions. Protectiveness, possessiveness, anger…fear, desire – love? Just looking into Jaspers eyes for them second made me second guess everything I thought I knew.

I was pulled out of my mind by the opening of the bedroom door.

"Bella?" Charlie walked over to the rocking chair I'd placed in front of the open window. "Bells, it's time for school," I moved my eyes to his, and then averted them to stare at some meaningless object. I didn't move or say anything, I hadn't since they found me in the forest. Charlie sighed.

"Bella, it's been 9 days, you need to eat, go to school…move on." He said hesitantly. I ignored him. He could never understand the pain I was going through. I'd lost an entire family, a whole future, but most painful of all, I'd lost a mate. A mate that had been manipulated into avoiding me, a man I'd specifically been withheld from.

_He_ must have seen it in his thoughts; the desire to want and protect me, a love that going way beyond the border of brother and sister, the need to possess me, to make me his. I guess he'd thought it as competition. They both wanted possession of me; only he was fighting for my blood, whereas Jasper was fighting for my heart.

Looking at his profile from his crouched position over me, I could only see the vampire, no trace of the man I knew. The hurt and pain was almost unbearable, my love, my mate, the person I thought I would spend the rest of eternity with, didn't love me at all, he just had an obsession with my scent, my blood. I looked back to Jasper and submerged myself in the comfort and lethargy he threw at me.

I once again found myself being pulled back into reality; I didn't seem to feel the surprise that the day had faded to twilight already. I didn't seem to feel anything, just emptiness. A rustling of the trees had me up and leaning out the window faster than I thought I could. My weak human eyes frantically searched the darkness, looking for any sign.

"Hello?" my voice cracked from the lack of liquid down my throat. It was a quiet whisper but if anyone I wanted to speak to was out there, I knew they would hear. Silence was my answer. I felt the tears fall down my cheeks, the first time I'd cried. I fell back into the chair and curled up. My whole body shook with tremors, heartbroken sobs muffled by my pillow was the only noise I could hear.

After the torrent had ended and my tear ducts were dry I flopped down onto my bed, grasping the covers and pillows. An occasionally sob broke through, but I'd run out of tears. I eventually fell into a restless sleep.

I woke screaming, I was aware of hands trying to shake me, but the only thing that seemed to register with my waking brain was pain. I'd dreamt of _him_, and how he left me in the forest, each of his words life a knife to my aching heart. I curled up again, tears and sobs taking over my body. I felt something cold pressed against the back of my neck and a faint voice. Another round of sobs came after I realised whoever it was, I had replaced there voice with Carlisle's. I made myself believe I could hear him, I wasn't sure if that was a good thing.

This time I woke crying, my body shaking my eyes sore and no doubt red from all the crying. Underneath the pain I felt somewhat refreshed. I curled up and realised I was in my bed, that I had a clean pair of shorts and shirt on, that my body and hair had been washed. I was too tired to care, I just wanted to get to my chair and stare the day away, like always. I rolled over and nearly fell out of bed. I was unsteady on my feet and wobbled my way over to the window, barely able to stand.

I was only half way there when I realised the chair had been moved. I looked to its original home and went weak at the knees. In front of the wooden frame all squished together, were my vampire family. I blinked once, acknowledging their presence, or my hallucination and felt myself fall, gravity pulling me into darkness.

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**Hey, I know it's short and shit but I know where I'd like to go with this story.**

**I am new to this and will probably need time to get into the swing of updates but they should be fairly regular.**

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**Chrissi xxx**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the characters and original plot - Messing with them is just my obsession :P**

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I was certain I was dreaming. Though the scene beginning in my head was exactly the same, I seemed to know it was a dream; one that got some sort of pleasure out of torturing me, pushing me deeper into the pain.

I was watching Edwards back as he led me into the forest. I stood frozen as he said the cruel words, the knife to my heart, digging and twisting deeper. One by one the Cullens would appear, joining in my torment. After I lay sobbing on the forest floor, my shattered soul like a dropped vase, they would disappear and be replaced by black nothingness.

"AAAAHHHHH!" I thrashed around my bed covers, screaming and crying trying to get away, trapped by the sheet.

A cold compress was held against my head, it felt like the coldest ice, pressed against my feverish skin. Great. Not only was I having hallucinations but I was sick too. It's a shame, I don't think I can see out the window from my bed. The compress calmed me slightly, but I was still restless, it was way too hot. I'd probably got a cold or something from when I was curled up on the forest floor in the freezing rain, and then having my window open 24/7. I hope it hadn't settled in my lungs, even though I would like to think I had a reason to live, I wouldn't mind the peace of death.

"Bella? Can you hear me?" my gasp of surprise was interrupted by a coughing fit. My lungs burned and my throat was raw, I turned to my side to help gravitate the fluid in my lungs. The coughs turned to sobs as I once again broke down. I clutched the sheet and pillow, clinging on as if it was the only thing holding me to this word, or my sanity at least.

I wasn't sure how many days the fever had hold of me. A few times I can recall almost slipping away into nothing. Thankfully I had few dreams. I know the ones I did have always ended with me being consoled by ice temperatures. I wasn't sure where I was, but a cold pair of hands were nearly always touching me; when I was semi-conscious, my hallucinations always spoke to me , even if Charlie or my mom was there.

The fact that she had flown from Florida was my only clue to how sick I really was. I didn't even realise I had a cold. I seemed perfectly fine. Well, I know that's a lie, I wasn't fine. Maybe I'd been blocking it out. My emotions completely buried and hidden, even from myself. My near death episodes would always create fuss, from what I could hear, people would argue, some would cry. Ironically my hallucinations are the only thing that kept me sane; the soft whispers in my ear, the reassuring squeezes of my hand.

For the first time, my eyelids began to open, or they would have if they weren't so damn heavy. If felt like a huge effort to even think of opening them. As I drifted more towards reality, I became aware of a pinching pain at my wrist, I attempted to lift my arms, to scratch it away, it took a few times. I felt an IV in my arm and proceeded to try and remove it, at that point the door opened and a cold pair of hands were immediately stopping me. I gave a frustrated groan, I hated needles. My head flopped to the side in the direction of the hands. My eyes finally opened but took a while to focus.

My shocked eyes started at the real set of ice hands holding one of mine, up the white lab coat to the beautiful face that is Carlisle Cullen. My walls and safe guards immediately went up, I knew I was nothing to them. My heart was screaming at me to hug him hold on and never let go, but my mind was untrustworthy and told me to stay away. At that point the entire Cullen family burst through the door. Jasper was by my side at once, grasping my other hand. I tried to take in a deep breath, but it just sent me into another round of coughing. I started gasping for air I wasn't receiving, my hands moved to clutch the hospital gown just above my breasts. I was hunched over forward, struggling to find a regular breathing pattern. The heart monitor beside me was going crazy, I think I was hyperventilating.

"Bella! You need to calm down, Bella look at me," Carlisle tried to coax me out of my huddle, "Honey, look at me," my head turned slightly sideways, my right eye connecting with his. "Breath with me, slowly, steady," when my lungs weren't going 100 mph, I felt them burn with the work. My poor body had been through hell lately. Suffering all the emotional pain as _he_ left me. My lungs were certainly working overtime with all the speed changes and being drowned.

My panting turned to sobs as I hid, curled up in my little ball. I started rocking, the comforting sway usually provided by the rocking chair. I was whispering through my sobs, chanting the worlds I knew to be true.

"No…They're not real…No…They're not here…They left…Not here, Not real…Stupid crazy girl…Left…Not want you…Too much hassle…Family pet…Bored…Gone to find new one…Less complicated…Useless, clumsy little girl…Don't want you…Don't love you…Worthless, not good enough…Smell wrong…Can't love you…Too fragile…Too much effort…Too breakable…No…Too pathetic…Stupid crazy girl…Don't want you…Don't love you…pet…plaything…Entertainment…Useless clumsy little girl…Tired of me, got bored…Gone to find new one…Less complicated…Less hassle…Left…Not want you…"

The pace of my words slowly speeding up, all reasons _he_ left me, why _they_ left me. My lungs were once again burning in protest as my breathing sped up again. I could hear wild beeping and frantic voices, but none of which I acknowledged. My only thought, my only emotion was pain. I heard someone cry out and some others crying. It flooded through my body, all the buried feelings rising to the surface in one go. It felt like the room around me was spinning, I was drifting in and out of lucidity; the pain being too much for my conscious mind to cope with. I drifted sideways and once again fell into the darkness.

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**Thanks for the reviews and adds! Honestly more than i was expecting :)**

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**Chrissi xxx**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the characters and original plot - Messing with them is just my obsession :P**

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The bed was too comfortable. There was no way I could be in a hospital bed, the sheets weren't scratchy and the mattress wasn't thin and stiff. I forced my eyelids to open and internally whimpered as I acknowledged the room. Bloody fantastic, just what I need right now.

If the obviously expensive décor and excellent interior design hadn't given it away, large window facing the gardens definitely would have. Why? Why would Charlie and Renee bring me here? Of all the places in the whole fucking country they could have taken me, they just had to bed ridden me here.

I internally groaned as I sat up, hastily removing the IV and all other things stuck in or on me. My throat was paper dry. I attempted to stand several times but my legs had grown stiff and sore from lack of use. I wobbled to the door and opened it onto the familiar first floor corridor. A wave of memories hit me, I could almost visualise Alice dragging me down the hall and into one of the other doors, Jasper following behind with his arms full of shopping bags. I whimpered and cringed at the pain that followed. I went back into the room in search of a bag. I really needed to get out of these clothes.

My head started pounding as I walked into the closet, I squinted when I turned on the light. The dimmed bedroom had been okay for my adjusting sight but the bright light of the wardrobe had been almost blinding. I found a duffel bag full of my clothes, as I was pulling on some sweatpants and my favourite hoody my stomach gave a loud rumble and I felt my insides start to nag for food. As I made my way downstairs I tried to look at the floor as often as possible. It held no pictures or paintings and I didn't have any memories of just staring at the cream carpet. As I stumbled off the last step of the staircase, a clatter in the kitchen held my attention. I felt my heart stutter in my chest and my breathing paused.

My body started to shake as I dragged my feet one in front of the other around the corner. I saw the gleaming island and the chrome bar stools. As I moved further round I could see a women standing with her back to me at the sink. I breathed a sigh of relief. Renee.

"Mom." I croaked, barely any noise passed through my lips but I could see Renee's shoulders jump. She spun round and burst into tears.

"Oh baby! You're awake!" she hugged me tightly and didn't let go for five minutes. The whole time she was ranting about how worried she was and that I scared her blah blah blah. Eventually she let go.

"Mom," I repeated, "Water, please," I indicated pointing to my throat. She hurried round the kitchen finding a glass and filling it with water. I downed it and then moved to the sink to refill.

"Bella, how do you feel? Are you hot? Cold? Hungry?" Renee was fussing over nothing.

"I'm okay, a little hungry, Is there any food?" I asked. She eyed me.

"Are you sure? I don't think you're suppose to be out of bed, you almost died! Oh Carlisle will scold me for this. Go get back upstairs, I will bring you something, we haven't got much, Esme, Alice and Edward have gone shopping for groceries."

I whimpered again. They can't be here! Especially _him_! They were just hallucinations! Do not believe her! It will only hurt more later!

"Oh baby, I know it hurts, go lie down and I'll bring you something up." She smiled and rubbed my back.

"No, I'm fine. It's just…" I bit my lip and my eyes blurred from tears. "Are they really here?" I whispered hopefully, despite my heart screaming to be saved from future heartache. Renee hesitated then nodded.

"Yes, Esme, Alice and Edward have gone grocery shopping, Carlisle, Emmet and Rosalie have dragged Jasper to Canada for an extended hunting trip and Peter and Charlotte have gone to Seattle to hunt. Charlie is at work but should be here soon." She smiled slightly. I stood confused, how did she know about hunting? Did she realised the extent of it? I gasped. Did she know what they are?

"Umm…Mom? They went hunting?" I asked confused. "And who are Peter and Charlotte?" I became aware of a pain in my chest, my heart ached.

"It's ok Bella, Charlie and I know about the Cullens and their friends. They told us after you nearly died the first time, they asked about saving you, turning you into a-" she choked. "a v-vampire." she whispered the last part as if she was afraid someone would hear her.

"You know? Oh." I sat on one of the bar stools and rubbed my hand across my chest over my heart.

"Are you alright sweetheart? Does your chest hurt? Can you breathe properly?" She paused in taking out the last food in the fridge for a sandwich.

"I'm fi-" I was interrupted by police sirens blaring into the room. We went to the window and saw Charlie's cruiser brake on the gravel in front of the driveway. He left the door open and ran into the house.

"Renee! Quickly! It's Bella!" he ran straight past us and upstairs. We heard the door hit the wall as it was thrown open. "RENEE!" Charlie almost screamed, "Renee! She's gone!" He flew back down the stairs but then came to an abrupt halt as he saw me standing next to Renee.

"I- She- Wha-?" Charlie looked stunned as he stood and stared at me. He seemed to snap out of it and then ran over to engulf me into a hug.

"Oh Bells," he sighed, "You scared me." he pulled back and started to fuss over me. "Are you okay? Are you in pain?"

"I'm fine, Dad," I said.

"Are you sure? Shouldn't you be in bed or something? Perhaps you should go lie down," I sighed and realised that all this attention was already pissing me off.

"I'm fine. I'm not going to lie down after I have been in that bed for god knows how long. I could really do with some food and a nice relaxing bath." I said strongly. Charlie grumbled a bit but didn't argue, Renee went back to making me a sandwich with whatever they had left.

I sat on the sofa with Charlie and Renee while I ate. They answered my questions about what I had wrong with me and how long I'd been unconscious. I was surprised when they said I'd been at the hospital for 2 weeks before they let me move in here, and then I'd been at the Cullens for just over another week. When I asked what the Cullens were doing back here and why they (and I) were staying in their house, they got shifty and eventually said that I had to talk to the Cullens about that.

I sighed and took my plate to the kitchen. I got another glass of water and headed for the stairs.

"I'm going for a bath and I'd prefer no interruptions." I went back to the room I woke up in and started to fill the unusual bathtub. I returned to the closet to rummage around in my bag, hoping to find my ipod. After tugging on some wires, my green nano appeared.

Finally I was able to relax. Or at least as much as I could in this situation. In my head I compiled a list of questions, some that, for the sake of my sanity, needed answering soon.

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**Bella's kind of chilled out in this one, I think she still thinks it's a hallucination or a dream...**

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	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the characters and original plot - Messing with them is just my obsession :P**

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I groaned and rolled over in bed, away from the rare Forks sunlight. I was in the blissful moments of just waking up, waiting for reality to come crashing down. And boy did it crash.

I was in the Cullens house. Renee and Charlie were here too, which is confusing, especially since I think they know the secret. They were back, and brought _him_ with them. Who were Peter and Charlotte? I'm thinking that they're vampires since they went to hunt in Seattle, but that would also mean that they don't follow the Cullen's vegetarian diet. They're probably going to have a party, me being the main buffet, all the more vampires to eat you with! Fucking sparkly-assed leeches, they obviously haven't finished their, delightful, torture. Starting with a knock, interrupting my oh-so private life.

"Bella? Breakfast is ready, if you feel up to eating?" Renee. At the mention of food my stomach growled. I sighed and left my warm cozy bed to open the door. She smiled and turned away, walking down the corridor to the staircase. I followed her until the last step, upon which I froze. Esme, Alice and him were all on the sofa's.

_He _turned to look at me. I just glared at him, wanting to ring his neck with my bare hands.

"Bella, are you okay?" he whispered. My teeth clamped together, trying to hold back my retort. I hurried straight to the kitchen ignoring all of them. I got a glass of water and stood against the sink, my back to whoever had followed me in.

"Bella," I turned to face her, fixing a blank mask onto my face. "Edward just wants to talk to you, then he'll go to Alaska, if that's what you want."

"You left without so much as a 'kiss my fucking sparkly ass' Alice, what makes you think I'm going to listen to any of you." I put the glass down and walked up to her. My eyes watered as I let all the hurt come to the surface. "You broke me, making me think you loved me and then casting me aside like I was a piece of trash. I may be a useless, clumsy little human, but I'm not stupid. I won't make the same mistake twice." My voice broke in several places but I held my ground. As the tears overflowed and ran down my cheeks, I turned and went to the breakfast bar.

"Bella," Alice whispered, I looked up from the cereal in front of me. She had a pained expression and venom filled eyes. Inside I just wanted to run and hug her, tell her that everything would be ok, but again my head was screaming at me to keep my distance. "What Edward said to you, about us not loving you, that you were a pet, it's not true." she whispered.

"Seemed pretty real to me, Alice" I scoffed. "Would you ever be able to stand there and look directly into the eyes of the person you were suppose to love for eternity and tell them that they mean nothing what-so-ever to you?" I watched as her head bowed and she slowly shook her head. She turned towards the door and left.

After a few minutes of eating, the door opened again, I didn't have to be psychic to know who it was.

"Just say what you want and get out." I said harshly. I refused to look at him, hearing his voice would be painful enough. I heard him shuffle across the kitchen floor to stand next to me. His familiar scent surrounded me and his smooth velvet words made me ache inside.

"Bella, I know this won't count for much but, I'm so sorry. Your birthday, the blood, Jasper. It wasn't him, he wasn't attacking you…" he let out a huge breath and I could just imagine him running his hand through his hair in frustration. "I was. I couldn't help it, the blood was just too…" he huffed. "In the woods, what I said, it was cruel and heartless," I snorted.

"Understatement," I mumbled.

"I lied about everything, set you against _our_ family. I'm a vampire and you're my singer, it makes being your boyfriend a lot more complicated. I know I shouldn't make excuses for the words that caused you so much pain, I let the demon take over and he destroyed us." He was silent for about five minutes.

"I have to go, Carlisle, Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper are on their way." His hand moved to my hair and I felt his lips kiss the side of my forehead. "I love you, Bella." he whispered against my temple. "I'll…I'll call you when I get to Alaska." I vaguely nodded and he left me in peace. A few minutes later I heard the front door open and close, a car started up and then drove off down the mile driveway.

I sighed and pushed away my barely eaten cereal. I dumped the rest in the sink and jogged upstairs to get dressed. I threw on some yoga pants, a short-sleeved tee and a hoody that drowned my body. Since my disastrous birthday I had rapidly lost weight. I stood on the scales in the bathroom and was shocked to find that I wasn't even 100lbs. Despite my weight, or rather lack of, I decided to go running. It was an easy way to let go of anger and hurt by throwing it all into the effort of pushing yourself forward. Something I'd learnt the hard way as I ran searching for Edward in the forest.

I grabbed my ipod and ran down the stairs. On the coffee table there was a note waiting for me.

_Bella,_

_Charlie is at work, he'll be home around 6. Renee, Esme and I are going to Seattle to drop Edward off at the airport. We should be back later tonight._

_See you soon,_

_Alice xxx_

I dropped the letter back onto the table and headed for the door.

~X~

I didn't keep track of the time, there was no sun, but I would guess it was around midday. I had come across a clearing, one side opening up to the sea, the waves crashing against the cliff-face. I sat with my feet hanging over the edge, the risk giving me a slight pump of adrenaline, keeping all the emotions at bay. The cold winter wind off the ocean turned the sweat on my body to a chilling temperature, causing me to break out into shivers. The icy air filled out into all the spaces in my lungs immediately making them ache.

Tears started to role down my cheeks. Had it really been this cold earlier? Well I guess the running and trees helped with warmth. I curled up into a ball and stared out at the misty horizon.

"Bella?" the accented voice startled me. I stood up and turned.

"Laurent?" I questioned. "Why are you here?" The last time I'd seen him his sadistic friend tried to eat me. My shivering body, clattering teeth and numb limbs pretty much painted 'Easy Target' right on my forehead. He stepped towards me and I stepped back. I glanced over my shoulder and could only see the dark waves below.

"Come away," he urged, beckoning me towards him. "Be sensible Bella, come away." He stepped towards me again, reacting on instinct I stepped back.

"AAAGGHHH!" almost as soon as I hit the surface I felt a hard body of ice pressed against me. If the water wasn't cold enough to freeze me, the vampire would have certainly given in a shot. The force of the waves crushing me against the marble knocked the breath out of me. Holding my breath, I couldn't tell if we were going towards the surface or falling to the sand bed, my vision started to blur and darken. I passed out just as we broke into the air.

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	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the characters and original plot - Messing with them is just my obsession :P**

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All I felt was the fire. The scorching heat running through my veins. My body wouldn't move, my voice wouldn't speak. At first I could barely here Laurent talking to me, his arms carrying my body as the wind flew around us. I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket, then it being removed.

I was too lost in the pain to keep count of the minutes, but eventually I heard the door open.

I soon heard voices but I couldn't tell who was speaking through the fire. The effort of just trying to control my body was draining and the darkness took me under, away from everything.

~X~

I don't know how far through the fire I was, in my lucid moments I could only hear the low hum of what I presumed was a car engine. In those times, the few noises that escaped my throat were accompanied by soothing words and gentle stroking of my hair.

~X~

It almost felt like my body had just burst into flames all over again. The fire inside me doubled and started racing towards my heart. The unbelievable heat had me arching and writhing. My heartbeat was frantic and my lungs panting from the pace, in one final gasp of breath the organs in my chest stilled. I sighed and relaxed where I lay, thankful the heat was rapidly cooling.

I heard something move and was instantly crouched against the furthest wall, snarls and growls coming from bared teeth. My eyes immediately fell on the most threatening, assessing the scars that covered his jaw, neck and arms. I cast my eyes quickly over the group, noting that two others held a significant amount of scars too. My instincts told me to run, get as far away as possible because they are fighter, and seen as they're still alive I guessed they weren't used to loosing.

I had no clue who most of the 17 vampires were, but it didn't really matter. It was obvious they were going to attack. My instincts changed so quickly, I was now on the floor hugging my knees, rocking back and forth, my arms and hands covering my head. I was making noises as if I was an injured animal, the whimpers and cries expressing my vulnerability. I sensed and activated my mental and physical shields around me for further protection.

I imagined that I was a little girl again, only this time I had the motherly love I craved. I pictured me snuggled down in a blanket, someone holding me. I wanted to feel the love I never got from my mother, now while I still could I dreamt I could feel her arms wrapped around me, cocooning me in a bundle of love.

An idea suddenly popped it's way into my head. When it did I heard the worried and frantic voices of the vampires trapping me in this room.

"No!"

"Come back!"

"Rosie! Are you crazy!"

"I can't stop! It's not me!"

I manipulated my physical shield around Rosalie, so that it would make her walk towards me. Merging it with mine, I forced her to sit down against the wall.

I hastily climbed onto her lap and started whimpering again, hoping she would comfort me.

"Oh, Bella, Shh, it's okay" she soothed, "I've got you, you're okay," and just like I was hoping, she started stroking my hair and rocking me.

"Jasper?" someone said panicked, I think it must have been Emmett, "What's happening? Is it a trap? Will she hurt Rosie?"

"She's…longing…she's craving the love and comfort her mother never gave her as a child. I don't think she will hurt Rose, Em." Jasper said, reading my emotions.

As soon as I heard the foot step toward us, my instincts went haywire again. I was crouching low in front of my chosen mother, glaring and growling at the man who had dared to interrupt my soothing.

"Em, it's ok, she won't hurt me," as if to prove her point, Rose then reached out and pulled me back down into her lap, where she began cooing and petting me again. I nuzzled into her neck, still glaring sideways at Emmett.

"Should I take her hunting? She must be thirsty." Rosalie said over the top of my head.

"I can't feel any bloodlust coming from her, but she needs to hunt." Japer said.

"You can still read her emotions Jasper?" off Jasper's nod, one of the others looked confused. "How peculiar, Edward I presume you still can't read her mind? Alice, can you get a vision of Bella.

"I-I can't see, I can see her, or Rosalie," Alice gasped, "Eleazar - but I could before!" she whined.

"It seems her shield has been confirmed. Both a mental and Physical one. If you look closely, you can see a pale blue bubble around them. She's always blocked Edward, but now her powers have progressed to a physical level too, Alice will have trouble seeing her and everyone who has plans involving her." Eleazar explained.

"But that doesn't explain why Jasper can still read her emotions." Carlisle said.

"Charlotte?" her gestured for her to take over. She stepped forward to the front of Peter.

"That would be explained by their mating bond. The bond refuses to let them keep secrets from each other, so Bella can't block him naturally, only by will." I jumped up and crouched again, glaring at Jasper. I flew my physical shield at him, pining him to the opposite wall.

"Never," I growled and then launch myself out the window, running for the forest the same second my feet touched the ground.

~X~

I was being chased, vampires, what sounded like an army. My speed would help me loose them, it was my only chance. If they caught me, I'd die.

I could hear the echoes of their shouts, the pounding of their feet on the floor, the rustling of the forest as they sped past. One set of feet were faster than the rest, they were slowly gaining on me, getting closer by the minute. I willed my legs to run faster, my newborn strength propelling me forward.

I thought back to what had led to me running from an army. I faltered when I realised I was running from my family. Well, what used to be my family. I wouldn't let them back again, I would just be hurt. Jasper? My mate? I don't think so! No fucking way! Not in a million years! Oh, Alice must hate me!

But I guess it doesn't matter, she didn't like me in the first place. I suddenly felt blinding panic and fear, I stumbled and fell against a tree, the emotions paralysing me.

"Jasper! It's working!" I heard the fading echo. I tried to start moving again, only managing a jog. The collection of feet were in my hearing range again, the lone set up front staying a fair distance away.

Another wave of fear pulled me to my knees, my body shaking. The closer they got the fewer options I had, until I could hear them all come to a stop about 100 feet behind me. There was only one option left. Fight and die, taking as many of them with me as I could.

I jumped into a crouch facing the threat head on, willing my shield to block all of them. Several began to edge towards me, causing my growls to increase.

"No, stay back," Charlotte stepped forward in front of the procession. "Jasper, use the mating pull. It's not complete but the foundations are there." the white blonde spoke to my 'mate' and I suddenly found myself growls at her.

"She's blocked me, I won't be able to know if it's working or if she's just trying to trap me." Jasper fidgeted.

"Once you have physical contact she won't be able to block you, and I would guess that if you get so far with the pull, she won't be able to resist her instincts." Eleazar encouraged.

Jasper began stepping towards me, ignoring my warning growls and snarls. I refused to let him effect me, my mind was set on opposing the pull, but my body had other ideas. A lone whimper stood solitary in a mist of growls, my body rejoiced in the feeling of his getting closer. Much to my frustration, the warnings from my mouth were subsiding and growing quiet.

"Bella," he sighed, coming to a halt about 15 feet from me. "It's ok, Darlin', I won't hurt you." Against my brains orders, my body slowly straightened out of the crouch, but the quiet growls were still constant. Jasper began to cautiously edge forward, bringing his hand up to reach for me.

I still hadn't decided, I didn't know whether I wanted to be mated with him. I would definitely try everything I could to hold it off or stall. Edward said he loved me, again. Though I guess it would be foolish to believe him again, part of me really wanted to believe it. I started to wonder, even if I did believe him, could I ever forgive him?

It was so confusing, the human me wanted Edward, but the vampire wants Jasper. I guess that gives me my answer. I wasn't human, no matter how much I tried to act it. Edward loves human Bella, he is her first love. But I'm not the same as I was before, that few weeks changed me, scarred me inside. The girl changed, and so did her species. Now I was a vampire, I suppose I'm Jasper's girl. I just needed to learn to accept it.

Back in reality, my mate was now only a few feet away. I jumped back in surprise and we both stopped at just stared at each other. I took in his appearance. I practically drooled at the tight jeans that rode low on his hips, the tight black t-shirt that hugged his muscled chest and shoulders. I noted the scars covering his neck and jaw, wondering how he got them, but knowing that I wouldn't have to hunt them down in vengeance, they would probably be dead. Jasper's scars didn't scare me, I didn't fear him, if anything they made me proud and I felt lucky to have a good a man as he. I met his eyes that were full of fear haunted by past reactions to his wounds.

My mouth opened to speak, but for several seconds nothing came out. I just stood staring at him. I could feeling the tension and growing impatience of our audience.

"I, just," I looked at the floor and would be blushing if I could. "I need some time," I whispered, looking back up again, "Wait for me?" I asked hesitantly, unsure of my own feelings. Jasper smiled and opened his arms up for a hug. My eyes went wide and I got nervous. It would be the first time I ever touched him. I slowly stepped forward, trying to boost myself with some false confidence.

I was enveloped in a strange warmth, a current humming between our bodies. His smell invaded my senses, I bit my lip from moaning at the delight. He smelt like leather and horses. I had a sudden urge to lick him all over, I traded it and just shook my head, rubbing my skin over his.

"What's she doing?" someone asked, one of the ones I didn't know.

"She's trying to fight her instinct to scent him. I don't know how, I've never met anyone who could resist the mating bond." Carlisle said. "I think we should perhaps leave them alone?" he questioned.

"Definitely, I suggest we get out of hearing distance within the next 10 minutes." a man spoke up, wrapping his arm around Charlotte's waist. After that, I heard them all start to drift back the way I had run from.

Once they were out of hearing range I could see the difference in Jasper immediately. His head bent and he started nipping and licking my neck, his hands began to wander and feel my body. He pushed me against a tree and pinned my hands. I tried to wiggle them out of his grasp but it didn't work. So much for giving me time.

"Jasper, no, stop," I pleaded as he rubbed his body up and down mine. He tore off his shirt and I struggled even more. I heard someone creeping back toward us. "Please, make him stop,"

"Bella," Rose whispered, "Just relax, don't think, just feel, go with your instincts." she stopped about half a mile away, "Jasper is too far gone, he's in mating mode now. Give in to him, trust him." she finished her speech and took off running again.

I whimpered, it was just Jasper and I now. He started to undo my shirt buttons, eager to get his hands touching my skin. I thought about what Rose said, he was going to take me. I sighed and stopped trying to push him off, slowly lowering myself to the ground. I ran my hands over his bare chest, feeling his muscle move underneath my fingertips.

We soon lost the rest of our clothes and as I explored his body, he did the same with mine. I purred and hummed in appreciation when he found a spot that felt good, his hands lips and tongue then researched that patch of skin thoroughly until I was shaking.

When Jasper thought he'd memorised my body to his satisfaction, he began to part my legs, wanting to complete the bond. I bit my lip and moved my hands to grasp his face, forcing him to look at me. His eyes were coal black, clouded with lust. I know he would have done it anyway, but I nodded giving my consent.

It hurt at first, but soon waves of pleasure were crashing through my body. I cried out arching my back, dragging his body closer. His pace quickened as we approached our highs. I cried out in complete ecstasy as he grunted and released inside me.

As we bathed in bliss, I kept his eye contact, watching his irises change into a warm amber. As Jasper returned, he gazed down at me in confusion. I gave a shy smile back and he then seemed to realise that we were naked. He quickly sat up, assessing the situation. His face contorted into grief, and I gasped.

"Jasper, what's wrong?" I reached for him, bringing myself up so my face was just below his. My hands cupped his face and slid into his gorgeous blonde curls. He frowned at the action and looked back up at me.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, "You said you needed time, I totally and completely disregarded -" I cut him off by pressing my finger to his lips.

"Kiss me," I whispered. He looked hesitant so I gripped his hair and raised my lips, "Kiss me." finally I felt his warm mouth on mine. Our lips moved together, wrapping around each other. I gasped and he slipped his tongue in to do battle with mine. I moaned and laid back down again, pulling him with me.

I moved my hands to his chest and using my newborn strength flipped us over. My hips grinded into his as I rubbed my body over his. Jasper soon had had enough and guided me down onto him.

* * *

**Hey :)**

**Soo, Jasper and Bella are mated - but she doesn't love him (yet)**

**I wasn't too sure on the explicitness of the sex scene so if it's too much (or too little :P) review or message me and i'll change it,**

**Next chapters already on the go - so lets hope for a quicker update :D**

**Chrissi**

**xxx**


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